Finally, I can spill the news online. Last Saturday Gary and I decided we’d go for it – we’re going to get married. It was the night before Maddie’s first birthday party; it’s been such a whirlwind of a year – having a baby, buying a house and setting up a new business, but it’s been incredible, and everything about it has made us realise getting married is the way we want to go.
It hasn’t always been the case. Since before we met, and until very recently I was convinced I wasn’t the marrying type. To be honest, the thought of a wedding still horrifies me – they seem to have a way of making people act like everything’s a fiver, throwing cash at fairylights and place settings while spending thousands of pounds, all for basically a big party. But we’re going to go for it. We’re going to try our best to have a wedding the only way it would suit us – no fancy big cakes, lines of bridesmaids or stock shaped photography. No big manor house backdrop or vintage cars. Just a pure and simple celebration somewhere we feel comfortable with the people we want there.
So how did it happen? For a long time we’ve talked about the possibility of getting married, the pros, the cons and whether or not it would suit us. We’d always come to the conclusion it wasn’t quite ‘us’, but nevertheless, kept coming back to the topic again and again in our conversations. I figured this was probably going to be the case forever, and knowing we were on the same page about how non-conventional we would both want a wedding, it seemed like there was every reason to commit.
I’m afraid there was no romantic proposal. I realise that makes this blog post about 80% less interesting, but I doubt I’d ever be writing this if we’d waited for the right time for that to happen. If I’m honest, I don’t really get proposals. They’re either a complete surprise to one half of the couple, and in that case, someone is making a life-long decision in a matter of seconds, usually with a bit of bling to distract them from the wrong answer, or the proposal isn’t a surprise, and just seems like a bit of an act. My issue with this is that the female is the one who 99% of the time does the hanging around, waiting for the ‘surprise proposal’, while the man can string them along for years if he likes. In a heterosexual relationship, the woman of course can take control of the situation and get down on one knee if that’s what she wants, but that also relies on the guy being the type to be totally fine with that, and I don’t know many of those. Either way, it’s one person holding the control and putting the other person on the spot. I’d always assumed that if I got engaged it would be after a nice, open conversation, and that’s exactly what happened. We talked, we decided, we smiled, we opened a bottle of wine. It was lovely.
I’m still undecided whether I want an engagement ring or not. We’ll go and have a look at some to see, but considering how much of our wedding is going to be based on a tight budget, I’m not against not having one at the moment. We’ll see…
At the moment we’ve got a rough date in mind and we’re starting to look at venues. The whole thing has a big amount of pressure added to it while Gary works in a school. Considering we want a summer wedding, this gives us about four Saturdays of the year to choose from, and hope aren’t completely booked up for years to come. With that in mind, if anyone has suggestions of slightly unconventional wedding venues, please feel free to throw some suggestions in the comments!
Likewise, if you’re married and managed a ‘do it our way’ wedding, please share your hints and tips with us.
I’ll keep you posted on the ring decision in the next few weeks. For now, we’re enjoying the next stage of our relationship and getting excited for all the things to come.